20 People Share the Most Vulgar Thing They’ve Ever Overheard
Carly Tennes
Published
11/22/2024
in
eww
When it comes to getting a point across, some prefer not to mince words, but rather toss them in a mud bath with the rest of their sex toys and a few tapeworms. Enter these extremely profane statements, ones so lewd and vulgar that they've been etched into the memories of several still-shocked Redditors.
From likening vaginas to dog mouths to the specific details of a hobby horse's genitalia, here, 20 people share the most vulgar thing they've ever heard.
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1.
“Picture an upper middle-aged man with a big beer gut, patting his belly and saying to me (at the time a young woman), ‘I’m gonna have a baby elephant. Wanna see its trunk?’ And this was at a Christian function.” -
2.
“I heard a woman say, ‘you gotta be fist fucking me right now.’ In a professional setting.” -
3.
“I used to work as a bill collector. I was talking to a guy one afternoon and he told me ‘you take that bill and shove it right down your cum guzzling throat.’ Stopped me dead in my tracks, and after a brief pause I just started laughing. Then he started laughing. Says to me ‘that was a good one wasn’t it?’ and I respond ‘yeah, it really was.’ Then he hung up on me.” -
4.
“‘She couldn't sell pussy on a troop train.’” -
5.
“‘Dirtier than fingering your sister and finding your dads wedding ring.’” -
6.
“I worked with a Scottish girl who had some really good ones. My favourite was how she would describe being horny as ‘frothing at the gash.’” -
7.
“I used to work with a hilarious old waitress that had a foul mouth. She once kicked open the door to the staff room and announced she’d just lost 5 pounds. Another staff took the bait and asked if she’d just taken a fat shit to which she replied ‘nah man I just trimmed my bush.’” -
8.
“Overheard a couple going at it in a car outside a pub and the young woman said, and I quote,’I’m in the blood but you can have a go at me shitter.’” -
9.
“’I’d use his unborn children as salad dressing.’” -
10.
“‘The food she cooked us was so bad I shit out a suicide note from my tapeworm.’” -
11.
“‘My favorite fast food is KFC because I eat it then I jack off with the grease on my hands which gives me these little pimples all over my dick that I can pop the next day and still taste the chicken.’ heard in a Counter Strike: Source lobby about 15 years ago and it still haunts me” -
12.
“‘Tell me who is your gynecologist so I can suck his fingers.’ A random guy to a lady walking by in a park.” -
13.
“‘Her pussy looked like a bulldogs mouth full of mayonaise.’” -
14.
“My sister was worried that her tattoo artist was judging her tattoo and the artist said ‘listen, I'd tattoo Jesus skull fucking a baby on your face I don't care.’” -
15.
“I’m a bartender, and every day when I come into work, the dishwasher says to me ‘I wanna eat your shitter like an apple fritter.’” -
16.
“Whenever someone would point out something obvious my grandfather used to say ‘does a hobby horse have a hickory dick’ instead of ‘no shit.’” -
17.
“‘That cunt’s teeth are so crooked up she could bite a curly whirly and miss the chocolate.’” -
18.
“’If she had as many sticking out of her as she has had stuck in her, she would look like a porcupine.’” -
19.
“‘Your mouth is so wide, you can eat a banana sideways.’ Heard a kid say that to another kid at the fair.” -
20.
“Best part of you dried up on your mamas sheets.”
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- 20 People Share the Most Vulgar Thing They’ve Ever Overheard
“Picture an upper middle-aged man with a big beer gut, patting his belly and saying to me (at the time a young woman), ‘I’m gonna have a baby elephant. Wanna see its trunk?’ And this was at a Christian function.”
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